Day 69

I can't believe my baby will be home for Thanksgiving. Even 3 weeks ago, I would never have thought she'd be home this soon. She's up to 4.5 pounds.

I have to admit to feeling a bit nervous. I had a long talk with Dr. Rose, who assured me that they would never discharge her if she wasn't ready. Dr. Rose pointed out that Aerin is mature. She can regulate her body temperature and eat - both of which are impossible to do if one's brain is immature. She hasn't had any bradys or apneas in over a month. In fact, she's no longer wearing a pulse ox probe. It makes diaper changes a lot easier.

Andrew and I went shopping with Grandma Rita today and got almost all the things that Aerin will need when she comes home - bassinet, diaper genie, scale, Pack n' Play, etc. I feel much better having all of those things ready to go. It seems so surreal that there's a bassinet next to my bed and a Pack n' Play in my dining room.

I'm rooming in again tomorrow night. They're going to give us the good monitor to start with, so I'm looking forward to a better night. It's hard to sleep when a brain-slicing alarm goes off every 10 minutes for no reason at all. It was both wonderful and scary to be on my own with Aerin. We really bonded during her 11:00 p.m. bottle, when it was just the 2 of us, without the crowd and noise of the PCN.

I'm going to try to get some sleep while I still can.