What a Difference 3 Months Makes

So Aerin is about 6.5 months old now, chronologically, and 3.25 months old, adjusted. Obviously, her appearance reflects her adjusted age. It's not often that you can tell a lady she looks half her age and really mean it!

Another unsettling thought: Aerin's now been living (in the outside world) longer than she had been gestating.

Very Long Night

Aerin got off her schedule yesterday and we had a very long night. She went to sleep in the early evening and woke up around 2:00 a.m. This is my fault, as I have a very hard time waking her up to eat. This is a legacy from the NICU, where they drill it into you that sleep = growth = health. Also, Aerin hates being woken up. She won't just eat and then go back to sleep - if I wake her up, it's pretty much a guarantee that she'll be up for the next 4 hours. Unfortunately, she woke up during the time when I do the work that I can't do when she's awake and I was right in the middle of an involved project that I couldn't just leave. So after about 3.5 hours of fussing and pacing and rocking and singing and eating, Aerin went back to sleep and I finished my project.

I have to say that the fussiness can be frustrating. Aerin has a very loud voice (she's definitely going to be a singer) and no relieable preference for soothing techniques. We had a week-long period where all I had to do was sit in the rocker with her and she'd stop fussing and drift off to sleep. Now she'll only do that if she's in the right mood. I'm starting to get a little desperate here - we have 3 baby carriers (a Maya Wrap from my friend Jenna and a hip hugger and Baby Bjorn from my friend Amy), two swings, and a massaging bouncy chair. We can really only count on them for 20 minute periods when her mood is right. I don't want to give the impression that I mind holding her - I don't, I love it. I'm just a little tired from staying up all night cleaning (I'm a bit of a neat freak) and from carrying a 12-pound wiggling baby around all day and from the huge volume of laundry that comes with a refluxing baby.

Aerin has recently started imitating sounds and we have "conversations" where she'll imitate my tone of voice. It is the most amazing and precious thing in the world and Aerin just loves it - she smiles and laughs the entire time. Until she suddenly starts to scream. She holds onto her bottle during feedings and will hold her WubbaNub in her mouth. We're going to have to move her to a crib very soon - she's trying to turn over in her bassinet and there just isn't the room. She really is an athletic baby, if there is such a thing.

We're very excited to see Grandma Rita tomorrow.

Aerin Rolled Over!

I put her down for a nap in the Pack N Play. I put her on her stomach and she went right to sleep (we have special permission from our pediatrician and respiratory therapist because Aerin has an apnea monitor). I heard her crying and went in to her and she was on her back! It took me a few seconds to register what had happened and I started screaming and shouting, "Oh my gosh!" Poor Andrew heard me and raced downstairs - I scared the heck out of him. We put her back on her tummy to see if she would do it again, but she wasn't in the mood to perform for us.

I am shocked - this is a five-month developmental milestone!

Pictures to come.

Fuss, Fuss, Fuss

It has been a tiring week in the Marx household. Aerin now refuses to be put down almost the entire time she is awake. She will go in her swing, but no more than about 30 minutes per day. She only goes in her Maya Wrap for 20 minute clips. She screams like a banshee when you put her down, which I do for a total of 5 minutes each day (non-consecutive). Her napping has grown more erratic as well. I could usually count on a 3-hour nap during the day, but it as become a sleep-10-minutes, cry-30-seconds, be-patted-and-rocked-by-Momma-for-5-minutes, go-back-to-sleep-for-another-10-minutes cycle. This can go on and on. During the 10 sleep minutes, I try to get things done as fast as I can.

Aerin also spits up more than I thought humanly possible. I have no clean clothes left and I wash an astounding number of bibs every week. She doesn't mind spitting up at all - you don't hear a peep out of her when she does it. In fact, she does stealth spit-ups, where I'll be holding her and doing something and suddenly be covered in spit up. She's eating well and gaining weight, so Dr. Al-Mateen isn't worried and, surprisingly, neither am I. Babies who spit up virtually never get failure to thrive and Aerin is well within the normal weight for her adjusted age.

Aerin has reached the stage in her development where she is realizing that she and I are separate people. This is usually when stranger anxiety and separation anxiety start. I don't think Aerin will have any stranger anxiety - she loves to look at people and will let anyone hold her. I'm not so sure about the separation anxiety. She watches me closely if I'm in the room with her and will start to fuss if she can't see me for more than 5 minutes. Aerin's Grandma Rita is coming to visit this weekend and I plan to do some errands, so we'll see how she does.

3 Months Old (Adjusted)

It's been a very exciting week for us. As of Saturday, the 18th, Aerin is 3 months old adjusted (from her due date). She's hitting or surpassing all the developmental milestones, which is wonderful. We went to the pediatrician for Aerin's monthly Synagis shot and she also got her polio vaccine. We love everyone at our pediatrician's office so much that visits are something we really look forward to. Every single question we have is answered in-depth, no matter how minor it may be.

Aerin and I also went back to the NICU! I had a doctor's appointment and Andrew had class, so I took Aerin. There are medical offices in Henrico Doctors' Hospital and that is where most of our doctors are. I got permission from Dr. Al-Mateen and Nurse Tammy to take Aerin both to my appointment and to visit the NICU. We all agreed that it was best that we not visit the PCN or the Perinatal Special Care Unit. I do plan to visit those places when RSV season is over. Being in the NICU with Aerin was extremely surreal and very emotional for me. We couldn't go into the unit because they don't allow children under 3. We waited in the entry room while Aerin 's nurses came out. They had to come out one at a time - they have babies to look after. We got to see Chris, Natalie, and Michelle, all of whom took care of Aerin a lot. They were so thrilled to see her and they could not get over how big and gorgeous she is. Just as we were fixing to leave, Dr. Sequira came in with a 36-weeker. He just had to stop when he saw Aerin, though. Delighted doesn't begin to describe his reaction to her. Then she smiled at him and he was tickled to death. Dr. Sequira was at Aerin's birth, so it was especially special to see him.

NICU parents and personnel have such a different perspective on pregnancy and babies. Aerin's nurse, Michelle, is 21 weeks pregnant. As she was telling me, she added, "Only 3 more weeks to go." Twenty-four weeks is the "official" date for viability (the earliest point where a baby can live outside his mother's womb). It didn't strike me as odd until much later, but 24 weeks is a magic number for us and doesn't mean the same thing to non-NICU folk.

I also brought over some of Aerin's preemie clothes to donate. There just isn't money in the NICU budget for clothes (preemie clothing is much more expensive than regular baby clothing) and it is a huge micropreemie milestone to see your baby in clothes for the first time. I want other parents to be able to experience that.

Andrew tells me that Aerin has now been home for longer than she was in the hospital. She is gaining more control over her hands every day and will rub her eyes when she's sleepy. It's so adorable that you just want to pick her up and kiss her, but she really dislikes being disturbed as she's drifting off to sleep (just like her mother).

Best Buds

Happy Purim!

Today was Aerin's first Purim. She isn't ready to go to shul, but we did dress her up a little (pictures forthcoming).

Aerin is doing this new thing where she stuffs her fist in her mouth when she's hungry. She also makes hungry noises that are not unlike the Cookie Monster. It's very funny, but it's hard to pry her fist away so that I can give her the bottle. She is a confirmed music lover and always settles down when I put a CD on. Right now she's listening to the debut album of the Peasall Sisters, Home to You. Andrew and I love it, too. Some of Aerin's other favorites are the Beethoven Lives Upstairs series from Classic Kids. It is by far the best children's classical series - much better than another aggressively marketed series that shall remain nameless. Aerin seems to prefer Beethoven to Mozart and she really loves Bach. It's funny - those were her preferences when I was pregnant, too. We also got OyBaby2, which is every bit as good as the first one.

We had a mini-crisis here last night and today. It was an equipment failure - I stepped on one of Aerin's leads as I was standing up with her and it broke off. Of course it was after business hours and of course it was on the day we received a letter that our equipment contract had been switched from one company to another, so I didn't have the number of our new respiratory therapist. I stayed awake all night, watching Aerin to make sure she was breathing. I also kept her on her back, just in case I did end up nodding off. She hates sleeping on her back and we both had a miserable night. I got hold of our new company in the morning and they couldn't have been nicer. Andrew went down to their office and they gave us a new kit and 2 back-ups. I love the apnea monitor and I don't see myself parting with it until Aerin is at least 1.

Six Months Old!

Aerin is six months old today (chronological - from her birth date) . Even as I type this, I find it hard to comprehend. I went through her photo album and those first weeks seem almost like a dream. Almost, but not quite - I remember the sheer agony of not knowing if she would survive and not knowing if she would have major disabilites. I also remember the overwhelming love and joy I felt at her birth.

Aerin is doing better than anyone could have predicted. She's 12 pounds! As of her last doctor's visit, she's in the 58th percentile for weight. She's only in the 25 percentile for length, which is surprising because she has tall genes. Of course, her length now does not predict what her adult height will be. Looking at her, you would never guess that she was anything other than a normal, exceptionally adorable and smart, healthy baby. The lasting effects of her prematurity are her hemangioma, her reflux, and the tract of soft tissue in her back. She'll be having an MRI sometime between June and August. It cannot be done until she is between 6 and 9 month adjusted (chronological - from her due date) because she'll have to be sedated. It is very unlikely that there will be any need for surgery - it isn't affecting her neurological development at all.

I am very happy to report that Aerin sleeps through the night every night. My quality of life has vastly improved. She still won't go in her swing for very long, but we've started putting the toy tray on and she loves to look at it. She smiles all the time now and even laughs. She has 2 laughs - a chortle and a diabolical cackle. Both are hilarious and make me laugh every time.

Baby's Best Friend

Catching Up

So much has happened in the last week that I hardly know where to begin. Aerin turned 5 months old on February 12th (chronological - from her birth date) and 2 months old on February 18th (adjusted - from her due date). She is almost 11 pounds!

We went to see Dr. Al-Mateen for her 2-month-old check-up last Wednesday. He was thrilled with her progress and gave her a clean bill of health. Even more remarkable is that she is developing much closer to her chronological age than her adjusted age. It would be great if she was developing like a normal 2-month-old, but she's much closer to a normal 5-month-old! She tracks objects with her eyes, recognizes her caregiver (me), can hold her head up steadily, can bear weight on her legs, turns toward loud or new sounds, and can push her chest up with her arms when she's on her tummy. I think she's going to be an early crawler - she gets into crawling position and moves her arms and legs, but she just can't put the movements together yet. She'll push off if you put your hand on the soles of her feet. She makes new noises every day and it's so fun to hear. I swear that she said "Ma" last week when she looked at me. She definitely said "bah," which means, "I am going to spit up all over you and the sofa."

We've taken Aerin out on a few more outings and they've all gone well. We took her to the mall for the first time last week. Andrew had to get a haircut and a new shirt and it was a gorgeous day out. Aerin hates being put in her car seat/baby carrier, but she calms down once we get going. I only had to pick her up twice and she settled right down. It really is like being with a movie star. People stop to stare at her, even people with their own babies. Everyone gushed about how beautiful she is, from the salespeople at Hecht's to everyone at the salon to everyone at the Nordstrom MAC counter. Every single stylist at the salon came over to fuss over Aerin. She really liked it there and looked right at everyone who had come to gawk at her. It was really fun to go there with her - I've been going there for years and went there when I was pregnant. The MAC counter was packed - there were about a dozen people shopping and having their makeup done. They all practically swarmed me. I was carrying Aerin because we didn't want to bring the stroller downstairs and I just planned to take a minute. No one could stop gushing over Aerin. I've been going there for years and the MAC artists all know me and they know all about Aerin. They were so happy to see her that they actually stopped what they were doing to get a closer look at her, which no one seemed to mind. I finally had to get us out of there because I was afraid people would start trying to touch Aerin or asking to hold her. Aerin took it all in stride and seemed to enjoy looking at all the people.

Aerin had bloodwork done and it all came back normal. In fact, she no longer needs extra iron! That's one less syringe we have to worry about. She's still on Zantac, Reglan, and multivitamins. We're hoping she'll outgrow the need for Zantac and Reglan, but she's going to need the multivitamins until she's at least one year adjusted.

Aerin is still sleeping through the night and I have to say that I feel a lot better. Aerin can go from zero to sixty in about 10 seconds. It's truly astounding. One second, she'll be asleep or just hanging out, the next second she's screaming. Sometimes she's content to hang out in her swing, sometimes she insists on being held. She's ambivalent about her sling, too. Sometimes she screams the second I put it on, sometimes she'll stay in it for a couple of hours. She's also had a couple of "Momma Moments," where she wouldn't let Andrew hold her and didn't stop crying until I took her. I'm really hoping they were isolated incidences.

Aerin's birth announcements arrived and I am working on getting them out. It'll take a while because Aerin is in one of her "how dare you put me down" kind of moods. In fact, she's calling me right now.

Patience

A huge post is forthcoming, I promise. Things have been busy, but Aerin is doing great.

Valentine's Day

Days 150-151

Well, all streaks come to an end. Aerin didn't go to sleep until 3:30 a.m. last night and that was after I sang myself hoarse. She would do her trick where she starts to cry just as I'm tiptoeing out of her room.

Aerin's feedings are about the same. The changing table is a huge help - Aerin will eat on it even after she's been fussing. I can't for the life of me figure out why. Her reflux is pretty much the same, too. I went through 3 shirts on night - luckily baby spit up doesn't stain. Aerin has one gown that she spits up on every single time she wears it. I'm giving serious thought to retiring it from her wardrobe, but it's just so cute. Aerin's also been going in her swing for longer periods of time, which makes things much easier for me. Andrew and I have even gotten to eat supper at the same time for several days in a row.

8 Weeks Old

Days 147-149

Aerin had a very eventful weekend. She hung out with Grandma Rita while Momma and Daddy went out on a date and then again while Momma did some shopping. Everyone had a very good time and it was fun to see Aerin wrap her grandmother around her little finger. We were sad to say good-bye to Grandma Rita and we hope she won't go so long between visits this time.

I made a minor change to her feeding routine. I switched from rice cereal back to Simply Thick. She seems to be less fussy and is eating more at each feeding. I am using the changing table from the Pack n Play regularly for feedings. I have no idea why she likes it, but I'm not about to argue with what works.

Aerin was thrilled when her beloved Pittsburgh Steelers won her very first Super Bowl. She was a bit disappointed that Troy Polamlu didn't make any big plays and she was upset about the bad call, even though it was in the Steelers' favor. She thought it was pretty neat when Antwaan Randle El (a wide receiver) threw the touchdown pass to MVP Hines Ward. Well, she would have if she had been awake.

On Monday night, Aerin went to a restaurant for the very first time. We went to our local O'Charleys. She screamed the entire ride there, but she fell right asleep when we went inside. They have this very neat contraption that you can strap the baby carrier into and we pulled it right up to the table. It was a very special night for me - for years I'd watch people with their children in restaurants and wonder if that would ever be me and yesterday it finally was.

Day 146

Aerin is enjoying having her Grandma Rita here, even though she is being very fussy. Grandma Rita watched her while Andrew and I went out to lunch. It was our first meal out together in weeks and we had a nice time. Of course we talked about Aerin the entire time.

Her feedings have been fairly difficult this week. I think we're all looking forward to the point when she outgrows the reflux.

Aerin is watching her very first Super Bowl and she's all decked out like a little fan should be.

Day 145

Day 144

I woke up before Aerin for the first time this morning. I looked at my clock and charged into her room, petrified. She was perfectly fine and sleeping soundly. It's the first time she slept for a 6-hour period. She would have slept longer, but I had to wake her up to eat - her reflux gets really bad if she goes too long between feedings. Happily, she had a great feeding. She's eaten well all day today, which is a relief - she had a day of very fussy feedings yesterday.

Aerin is at the point where I'm pretty sure she's over her cold. She still has some congestion and a cough, but that's to be expected for a preemie who's been intubated (both when she was born and during the pneumonia. Her chest is always clear when I listen to it. I'm still relieved when I don't hear any crackles or squeaks, though.

Aerin's Grandma Rita is coming to visit her from New York City tomorrow and we're very excited to see her.

Days 142-143

She did it - Aerin has reached 10 pounds! I remember waiting for her to reach 2 pounds. Obviously the new feeding schedule is working and we're going to stick to it.

Aerin is very alert and really focuses on objects that interest her. Besides Momma and Daddy, she loves looking at herself in the mirror of her swing, at the bears on her Pack n' Play, and the toys on her bassinet. Today I asked her if she was a little redneck baby and she smiled at me.

Day 141

Days 138-140

Aerin had a great weekend. The new feeding schedule is really making things easier for both of us. It's wonderful not to have to spend 90 minutes coaxing her to eat. She's actually eating the same amount, if not more, because we've added 1-2 additional feedings. Even with the extra sessions, we still spend less time on feedings. Aerin seems to have less reflux this way, too. I was worried that she would stop gaining weight or even lose weight, but I shouldn't have - she's up to 9 pounds, 14 ounces! I can't believe her weight is going to be in the double digits soon.

Aerin's adjusted age is 6 weeks today and she's either on track developmentally or ahead. Yesterday I asked her who wants to eat and she smiled at me. Today I asked her if she wanted to eat and she smiled at me. She smiles at Andrew when he makes up silly songs for her. She definitely has dimples, which is amazing because neither of us do.

Day 137

The feeding experiment is going well thus far. Aerin has had wet and dirty diapers and she hasn't lost any weight. It looks like she might even have gained half an ounce - it's hard to tell with our baby scale. I spoke to Dr. Al-Mateen today and we're going to keep this up for the next 4-5 days. We'll have a better idea of how it's working then and we can decide how to proceed.

Days 134-136

Aerin and I have had a rough couple of days, feeding-wise. She's been fussier and slower than usual. Today she took 2 hours to eat 60 cc's, so I called Dr. Al-Mateen. Since her chest is clear and she's still having wet diapers, he doesn't feel that this is a significant problem. We are trying an experiment for the next 24 hours. I will stop Aerin's feedings after she has stopped eating vigorously. Her pattern is that she'll gulp anywhere from 50 to 80 cc's and I'll coax the rest into her 5 cc's at a time over 90 minutes. We're going to try allowing her to stop herself when she wants and see if she still has wet diapers and doesn't lose weight. I'll call Dr. Al-Mateen with the results tomorrow and we'll go from there. So far, so good - she's taken 80 and 95 cc's at her last 2 feedings.

Aerin is sleeping long stretches during the night, which makes things a lot easier for her momma.

Day 133

Aerin had a much better night last night and a great day today. She ate with minimal fussing, although she's still taking her time. She stayed in her swing for a good 90 minutes and was content to stay in her Maya Wrap the rest of the afternoon and evening. I'm hoping this is the beginning of a new trend.

Dr. Al-Mateen isn't going to increase Aerin's meds for at least another month. As she grows out of the reflux, she should need them less and less. I can't imagine having a child on no medications anymore than I can imagine having a child without an apnea monitor, but she can't be on them forever.

By the way, Aerin's favorite Steeler is #43 Troy Polamalu.

Days 130-132

Aerin is doing extremely well, but she has been very demanding these past few days. We've hardly put her down at all and I've gotten very little sleep. She's incredibly adorable, though, and has started smiling at us! She's been eating super slowly, which can be frustrating, but she's gaining weight, which is the important thing.

Aerin was overjoyed today when her beloved Steelers won the AFC Championship and she's really looking forward to seeing them destroy Seattle at the Super Bowl.

Day 129: Free Babysitting!!

But who took the picture, then?

Day 128

Aerin got a (relatively) clean bill of health from Dr. Al-Mateen today. She still has a head cold, but it's getting better and her lungs are clear. She's gained 3 pounds in 4 weeks and her development is either right on track or advanced. She got her polio vaccine and her monthly Synagis. Dr. Al-Mateen was very happy with her progress and told me that in April he's going to give us his "lighten up" talk because we're so cautious with Aerin (caution is good in RSV season).

One of Aerin's NICU neighbors was in the doctor's office today! He was a 36-weeker, but he had had a lot of respiratory problems. It was really nice to see him and his mom outside of the NICU. She couldn't believe how big Aerin has gotten.

Andrew had to work today, so I took Aerin in myself. It went very well - she slept in the car, as usual and the hospital has valet parking. After our appointment, I stopped in the hospital cafe to get a cup of coffee for the ride home. On the way there and back, no less than 4 people came up to me to say how adorable Aerin is. People were actually glancing in her stroller and then doing double takes. I know she's a beauty, but even I was surprised at the response.

Days 124-127

I'm sorry about the long hiatus between posts - Aerin has been extremely demanding lately. She's been wanting to be held all the time and taking her sweet time eating. She got a bath last night and didn't cry until the very end, which was a nice change. She's up to 9 pounds, 3 ounces.

We're seeing Dr. Al-Mateen tomorrow for a routine appointment. It's nice to have scheduled appointments and not emergency visits. Aerin has been home for almost 5 weeks now.

Day 123

Aerin is really thriving. She's up to 9 pounds! She's almost ready for the next diaper size. Her lungs are still clear and I'm getting a lot of mucus when I suction her. Babies can't blow their noses, so saline nose drops and suctioning with a bulb syringe is the next best option. Aerin absolutely hates it, but it helps her a great deal.

We had a very good night last night. Aerin went right to sleep and only woke up once to eat. We got Aerin a swing yesterday and we've had mixed results with it. There were hour-long blocks where she was content to swing and there were times when she cried until we took her out. Andrew and I did get to eat together for the first time in a long time - we usually eat in shifts.

Day 122: Four Months Old

Aerin is 4 months old today. It's hard to imagine life before her. Every day she does something new and adorable. She's getting dimples and her eyes are getting lighter near the pupils. She may have green eyes yet.

The respiratory technician came to our house this morning. She brought us a new belt for Aerin because her old one is getting way too small. It overlapped when she first got it and it's barely holding together now. The resp. tech. downloaded the information stored on the monitor - it records any apnea and/or bradycardia episodes. The record is read by the company's neonatologist and forwarded to our pediatrician. The last time the resp. tech. was amazed at how big Aerin has gotten - the last time she saw her was in Henrico Doctors' and Aerin wasn't even 5 pounds yet.

Today really is a red-letter day. It has been 4 weeks since we brought Aerin home from St. Mary's. These have been the best 4 weeks of my life and every day is better than the last.

Day 121

While watching the Alito confirmation hearings over her lunchtime bottle, Aerin directed a little projectile spit-up at the image of Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT), ranking member of the Judiciary Committee. It would seem that Aerin supports Alito's philosophy of judicial restraint. We report, you decide.

Day 120: So Very Tired

Aerin didn't go to sleep until 3:30 a.m. this morning and she was up every hour until her 7:00 a.m. feeding. Luckily for me, Andrew finished feeding her while I went to bed. She took forever to eat for most of her feedings last night and this morning. Then Andrew fed her at 4:00 p.m. and she ate without fussing in 20 minutes and went right to sleep. So unfair. Actually, she ate very quickly and easily at her last feeding, so I felt better.

In other news, she's up to 8 pounds, 10 ounces!

Day 119

Today is Aerin's Daddy's birthday. She celebrated by taking extra long with her feedings. I spoke to the doctor today and her Zantac (for her reflux) was bumped up from 0.4 to 0.5 mL. I think that'll make a big difference.

Aerin's face is very expressive. She does a devastatingly adorable pout and can curl her upper lip just like Elvis. She also loves music - her favorites so far are Johnny Cash and OyBaby.

Day 118

Aerin followed a fussy night with a fussy day today. I think that her meds need to be adjusted - she's more than a pound heavier than the last time they adjusted her dose. I'll be speaking to her doctor tomorrow.

She's three weeks old today - adjusted age. That's the age from her due date, as opposed to her chronological age, which is her age from the day she was born. Her chronological age is her "official" age - she'll start school, get her license, etc. on September 12th. Her vaccinations are also given according to her chronological age. Her adjusted age (from December 18th) is how we measure developmental milestones. In other words, she should be acting like a 3-week-old infant, rather than a 17-week-old. She's exceptional, so she's doing things you'd expect to see in a 2- or 3-month old, like mini-pushups, holding her head up, making prolonged eye contact, bringing her hands together, and holding her binky and bottle.

Days 116-117

Aerin had a great night last night. She ate without much fussing and slept for good three-hour clips. She's all the way up to 8 pounds, 5 ounces! We were sad to say good-bye to Grandpa Steven, who returned to New York today.

Day 115

Grandpa Steven is in town for his first visit since Aerin was just a few days old. He noticed a slight difference in her size.

She's doing very well, although she's gotten a little fussy when it comes to getting back to sleep after nighttime feedings. At least she's finishing them.

Day 114

Aerin had a late night - she just didn't want to settle down. She's doing great. Her lungs are clear and her head cold is getting better. She's starting to grab for her binky and even puts it back in her mouth when it falls out!

Aerin's Granddaddy Steven is on his way and we are very excited. He hasn't seen Aerin since she was born.

I want to mention that we have received many, many beautiful gifts for Aerin. I am working on thank-you notes, but they might be a little delayed. We really appreciate the lovely things y'all have sent. Aerin is a very lucky little girl.

Day 113: Man vs. Baby

While mom went out to run errands, I looked after the little one. She didn't hit me quite as hard this time, but gave me an impressive regurgitation.

Aerin's grandpa is coming to visit tomorrow.

Day 112: Sweeter Sixteen

I jumped the gun yesterday; Aerin is 16 weeks old today. Before her bath this evening, she weighed in at about 8 lbs.. That's about 4.5 times her birthweight.

Happy New Year!

Aerin is having a great New Year. She slept in her bedroom all night and continues to eat well. I missed her projectile spit-up, but I saw the aftermath and it was impressive. The look on Andrew's face was priceless and Aerin looked very pleased with herself.

I'm happy to see 2005 come to an end. It was the best year of my life because I got Aerin, but we also had a lot of heartache. I'm looking forward to a problem-free 2006.

Happy New Year from Andrew, Aerin, and myself! Don't forget to eat your black-eyed peas.

Day 111

For a two-week old baby who is 16 weeks old, Aerin is pretty advanced. She's already spitting up in projectile mode. Acting under the misconception that her dad was ablaze, she did her best impression of a baby fountain statue, dousing her paternal caregiver with barely ingested formula.

Days 107-109

We took Aerin to Dr. Al-Mateen this morning. She still has a cough and some congestion, so we wanted to make sure everything is okay. Aerin is fine - her lungs are clear, her breathing is nice and slow, her pulse ox was 95%, and she's gained 12 ounces in the last 8 days. She now weighs 7 pounds, 4.5 ounces! Obviously, she's eating extremely well.

Day 106

Aerin had a fussy day. She hadn't pooped in approximately 36 hours, which would make anyone fussy. The doctor said that as long as she was wetting and her appetite was okay, she can go for 2 days without pooping before we have to worry. Of course I worried anyway, but her appetite actually increased and her wetting was normal. She ate 100 cc's at one feeding today and finally pooped twice this evening. She weighs 7 pounds now!

She's been home for almost 2 weeks now and we haven't had any alarms at all, which is awesome. As Aerin gets healthier and bigger, she gets more amazing. She can almost turn herself over from her tummy to her side. She's figured out how to suck her thumb, but it's too tiny to be satisfying, so she prefers her WubbaNub.

Days 104-105

Aerin certainly keeps us hopping. Her feeding take an hour to an hour and a half due to her reflux. She doesn't eat that entire time, she just needs breaks. She and I slept through a feeding today and it threw her schedule off somewhat. She only ate 30 cc's at her 3:00 p.m. feeding, but she made up for it by eating 95 cc's at her next 2 feedings.

We are constantly amazed at how strong and alert she is. She will look for the source of noises like keys jingling or Momma's voice and she can push herself up with her arms and legs.

I am so happy to have her home this Hanukkah. I prayed for this the entire time she was in the NICU - it was my secret hope. I hope that y'all's Hanukkah is as happy as ours is.

Day 103

I am happy to report that Aerin continues to thrive at home. She's eating extremely well and sleeping in her bassinet for decent clips. We took a 3-hour nap together - she still sleeps best with her Momma.

Merry Christmas to all of our friends who celebrate.

Day 102

Aerin is sleeping peacefully in her bassinet, so I'm taking advantage. She's going down much more, which is a great help to me. Not that I don't love holding her and cuddling her, but sometimes I have to do things like eat and use the bathroom. Every day she does something new and adorable. Yesterday she grabbed hold of my shirt when I was feeding her and held on until she was done. Her grasp reflex is very strong - I've had to stop wearing necklaces.

Aerin is feeling better. Dr. Al-Mateen adjusted her medication and it's made a huge difference. She now gets Zantac every other feed for her reflux, instead of twice a day. She's also on Reglan, Mylicon, iron, and multivitamins. We give her the meds with syringes and she takes them easily, except for the vitamins. I don't blame her - they probably taste as bad as they smell. I mix them with a little bit of milk to make them go down easier. Dr. Al-Mateen's nurse, Tammy, could not get over how big and beautiful Aerin's gotten.

Yesterday I had to run some errands at Henrico Doctor's Hospital and I visited the NICU. Everyone was happy to see me and thrilled to hear that Aerin is home again. I was talking to Dr. Sequira, who was at Aerin's delivery, and he was amazed at how advanced she is. It was weird being back there, but it was good, too. It reminds me of how far Aerin has come and how remarkably well she has done.

Days 100-101

Sorry we neglected to post yesterday. There wasn't much to report on anyway: only that Aerin got high marks from her pedriatrician, Dr. Al-Mateen, and weighs 6 lbs., 8 oz.! She's been home a whole week. That's her longest stretch out of the hospital ever! Yesterday's trip to St. Francis, home of Swift Creek Pediatrics, does not count.

While Kira ran some errands this morning, Aerin and her dad were left to fend for themselves.

Day 99

Aerin is a remarkable baby. Not only does she make eye contact, but she's able to track objects. She loves to stare at her momma, especially when she's eating, and today she looked at her daddy. Yesterday, she astounded me. I was holding her on my chest and she pushed herself up with her arms and held her head up and looked at me. I couldn't believe it. She has excellent neck control and a very strong grasp. She's eating very well and getting bigger every day.

She did not want to stay in her bassinet today, so Momma and Daddy held her. She's in her sling right now.

Yesterday Aerin got to meet her Aunt Cara for the first time, which was very exciting.

We're going to see Dr. Al-Mateen tomorrow morning and Aerin will get her second RSV vaccine.

Day 97

Today is Aerin's due date. She celebrated by eating a ton, sleeping in her bassinet for a couple of hours, taking a nap with Momma, and making the biggest poop I've ever seen.

Aerin is very advanced for a newborn - she can hold her head up and makes great eye contact. She focuses on objects for significant periods of time. She's also a Momma's Girl and will look around for me when she hears my voice.

It's a bittersweet day for me. It's wonderful to have our baby home with us, but I can't help thinking about what it would have been like if I had carried Aerin to term. The important thing is that she's healthy and thriving.

Day 96

Aerin had a good day at home. She spent most of it in her Maya wrap, which is a godsend. We're trying to get her used to sleeping in her bassinet or Pack n' Play, but she'll only go down if she's extra tired. She slept in the bassinet for 3 hours last night and about 1 hour today, which is progress. I also gave her a bath today, which she didn't like at all. However, it's much quicker and easier to bathe her at home - I have a great infant bathtub and much more room than in the hospital.

I also put my infant scale to use. Aerin is now 6 pounds and 2 ounces.

Day 95: Seriously

Aerin is doing wonderfully at home. She is eating and sleeping well and even slept in her Pack n' Play for a couple of hours. Mostly she likes to be held and snuggled and we are happy to oblige. She has gotten so big that we had to remove the preemie headrest from her car seat and readjust the straps. She is a whopping 6 pounds!

We have two wonderful nurses her, helping us out with Aerin - Anais and Rennie. We want to make sure that Aerin remains healthy. We're all hospitaled out.

Day 95

Aerin has grown so much since her first homecoming. We had to take her home by other means this time.

Day 94

Aerin is being discharged from the hospital today! We're picking her up at noon!

Day 93

I am thrilled to announce that Aerin has been off oxygen since 9:00 a.m.!! Her pulse ox is 97% and she's doing great. We're looking at discharge tomorrow or Friday!

Day 92

Aerin had a great day. She had a test to see if she had any micro reflux, which involves aspirating milk into her lungs and it was negative. She was on room air (21%) all day long. Now we just have to get her off the flow, which is at .75 liters. She gained 2 more ounces and is all the way up to 5 pounds, 14 ounces.

Day 91

Aerin is three months old today!

She was on room air for about an hour and didn't go above 30% oxygen. She was on 25% the entire time I was there. She spent some more time sleeping in her sling. She also had a chest x-ray, which looked good.

Day 90

Aerin is down to 30% oxygen over .25 liters. That's basically just a little breeze. She's up to 5 pounds, 12 ounces.

She's 39 weeks gestational today and we had a milestone - Aerin went in her sling for the first time. My friend, Jenna, gave me a Maya Wrap, but I couldn't use it until Aerin was over 5 pounds. Well, she fell asleep in it and woke up when I got up and walked around (although I couldn't go far because of her leads and the oxygen). Now I can hold her and have both hands free, which is especially nice because Aerin doesn't like to be put down.

Day 89

Aerin has completely charmed the St. Mary's PICU nursing staff. Every time we come in, a nurse is holding her and cooing at her. Even nurses who don't have her come in to fuss over her. She gets cuter every day. Bigger, too - she's up to 5 pounds, 10.8 ounces! She's on 30% oxygen over .75 liters.

Day 88

Slowly, but surely, Aerin is getting well. She's down to 32% oxygen over 1 liter (down from 1.5 liters). She's eating like a champ and is all the way up to 5.5 pounds! We're hoping she'll get up to 6 pounds by her due date, which is rapidly approaching. It looks like she'll be home again early next week.

Day 87

Aerin's recovery is progressing very nicely. She's down to 35% oxygen on the cannula and she's eating like a champ. Andrew fed her this morning and she took 80 cc's, which is the most that she's ever eaten! She only took 50 cc's at the next feeding, which is her average. It looks like she'll be home before her due date after all.

Day 86: Good Morning

According to Aerin's day nurse, she is doing "great" (Aerin, not the nurse). She's eating plenty, and getting by on very little extra oxygen. Now that she's turned the corner, she's gaining weight again. At 5 lbs., 4 oz. she's gained about 6 oz. in a week (she had dropped a couple of ounces before going to the hospital). Now, the doctors and nurses at St. Mary's agree that Aerin's a "fighter", as Kira and I have known for nearly three months.

Day 85

Good news! Aerin was extubated at 11:30 a.m. today. She's on a nasal cannula and doing well on 40% oxygen, though she is a little hoarse. She's still getting respiratory therapy every 2 hours. The respiratory tech pounds (gently) on her back with a little rubber cup to loosen the mucus and to keep it from building up. Aerin absolutely loves it - she satted 100 the entire time. Aerin is thrilled to be eating again and inhaled 40 cc's on her first bottle. I finally got to hold her and feed her and it was indescribable.

Day 84

Aerin is making good progress. She's doing well on the new vent settings and has gone down from 50% oxygen to 35% oxygen. They're going to extubate her tomorrow or Wednesday. She's still getting Lasix to get rid of the excess fluids. Her feeds are back to every 3 hours (rather than continuous) and she's tolerating them well.

Day 83: Delayed

It turns out that Aerin probably won't be extubated on Monday. There's nothing really wrong; the doctors want to give her some time to recover on it, as she seems to be very comfortable with the current ventilator settings. She's still improving gradually; a couple of days ago, her secretions became clearer; then they became less copious; now they are "thinner." Her puffiness is subsiding a bit as well. Anyway, the plan is still to extubate her sometime this week. Being on a ventilator at this stage is nowhere near the problem it can be at birth. Certainly for a 26-weeker, the ventilator can cause lung-scarring and brain bleeds, and the weaning process can be difficult. None of those things are issues this time around, fortunately.

Day 82: Belated

Aerin is still improving. Her settings on the ventilator are being turned down slowly, with an eye toward extubation on Monday. If she gets the tube out and does well, she's probably looking at 4-7 more days in the hospital. Among other things, she has to get back to full bottle feeds, and that takes time. There are "signs" that her illness is subsiding; she seems to be coughing less, and her secretions have decreased. Yesterday, she was getting suction every couple of hours, rather than every hour.

Day 81

There have been some very slight improvements in Aerin's condition. Her secretions are clearer and less in volume. Her chest x-ray was a bit better, especially after they changed the position of her tube. She's getting Lasix to help get rid of the fluids that have built up inside her (she's quite puffy). She is also back on feeds and getting 8 cc's every hour.

Day 80

Aerin's condition is about the same. The respiratory technician said that her lungs sound better, which is good. She had a central line put in early this morning, to make it easier to do tests and dispense meds. She is sedated and blissfully unaware of what is happening, which is a great comfort to us.

We so appreciate all of the prayers and good thoughts that so many people have been sending to Aerin. Please keep it up and hopefully we'll have our baby home again soon.

Day 79: Hanging in There

Aerin's lungs are somewhat less "squeaky." They are going to start increasing her feeds; we'll see how she handles it. Not that it matters terribly, but they haven't quite nailed down what ails her. All of the tests have come up negative so far, but those results aren't definitive. Whatever it is, Dr. Dhillon says, it will probably run its course in 3-4 days or 7 days.

Day 78: Not Such a Good Day

Aerin had to be rehospitalized today. It turns out that what we all thought was a head cold was something worse. She has come down with a pretty bad infection, although she is now stable and comfortable. Today, she was a little pale, lethargic, and not eating very much. So we took her to the pediatrician's office. There, she weighed in a couple of ounces lighter and had an apnea episode. Dr. Cantor decided she that she should go to St. Mary's.

Kira rode along in the ambulance (which was used just to be on the safe side), and I met them there. After being admitted, she required a lot of suction, and the doctors decided to intubate her. The prognosis is very good. She most likely has a viral infection, probably RSV. That means that antibiotics won't help her. The course for her is help with breathing until she can beat this on her own. We have no doubt that she will, but good, and make it home by her due date after all. We just weren't expecting her to make it home before then for a second time.

Day 77

Poor Aerin still has her cold, but it's not getting worse. What with all the germs floating around these days, I guess it's not the best time of the year to be a baby, especially one that's not even supposed to be born yet!

Aerin is the nicest baby I know. She's very mellow and easygoing - most of the time. She's pretty much content sleeping between feedings and diaper changes.

Day 76

Aerin is holding her own here at home. Dr. Cantor says that her cold may last from 7-10 days, but I'm hoping it won't be that long. We're running a cool-mist humidifier and giving her saline nose drops, both of which seem to be helping. She's eating like a champ and doesn't have a fever, which is great. It can be a bit overwhelming taking care of a sick infant, but I have a lot of help. Andrew is a great daddy and having my mother here is a blessing.

Day 75

A little bit of bad news to report today: Aerin has a head cold. It's not serious at all, and the doctor laughed and mocked us when we wondered whether Aerin should be readmitted.

A little bit of good news: Aerin's weighs five pounds!

Day 74: Catching Up

Sorry we didn't get around to posting an entry yesterday. Our hands are a bit full!Happy belated Thanksgiving to all! Yesterday went very well, as Aerin is sleeping a bit in between feedings. We didn't have much of a Thanksgiving celebration, but it was still the best Thanksgiving we could ask for. Grandma Elizabeth arrived in town and is helping us out a great deal. Kira is sleeping when she can and is getting into a good routine.

This morning we took Aerin for her first check-up at the pediatrician's office. We met with Dr. Cantor, who filled in for Dr. Al-Mateen's. Aerin weighed in there at 4 lbs., 14 oz.; that's a considerable gain since she left the hospital, and a very good sign. As usual, the doctor was very impressed with all of the progress Aerin has made.

Day 72: Even Later

Day 72: Later

Day 72

Day 71: Homecoming Eve

Aerin gained 2 ounces last night. I'm so glad that she did - I was worried because she didn't gain the last time we roomed in. We had a much better night that the first one. Aerin got her new apnea monitor (the one we'll be taking home) and it didn't ring off once. It's not attached to her with sticky leads. The leads are velcroed to a band, which is wrapped around her chest. It's much more comfortable for her and it obviously works better, too. I got about 2 hours of sleep.

Our travel system finally arrived today. We put it together and it's ready to go. We brought it to the hospital and they did a seat check. They put Aerin in the infant carrier/car seat for 30 minutes to make sure the position didn't make her desat. She did just fine, although she wasn't sure that she liked it. Seeing her in the seat reminded me how small she is - we pulled the straps as tight as they will go and they just fit her.

Our pediatrician, Dr. Al-Mateen, stopped by to say hello. I was nursing, so he didn't get a close look at Aerin, but he'll be seeing plenty of her soon enough.

Grandma Rita went back to New York City today. We loved having her here and she helped us so much with preparing the house for Aerin's arrival. Grandma Elizabeth is coming up on Thanksgiving Day to help us with the transition.

I feel nervous, but calm. This is the end of a long, long wait. I've been waiting my whole life to be a mother and I've waited 71 days for my baby to be home where she belongs.

Day 71: We Jumped the Gun

It turns out that Aerin needs to stay one more night. There's absolutely nothing wrong; she just needs a routine eye exam before discharge. We were told that today was the day, but there was a bit of confusion, evidently. We're sorry we got everyone's hopes up, but it's still just a mere matter of hours. And it gives us a little more time to get ready; we're still waiting for UPS.

Day 70: What Time is Check-Out?

Kira is rooming in again tonight, and we are expecting Aerin to be discharged tomorrow. Fortunately UPS is delivering the car seat/stroller set tomorrow, and it will be put to use immediately. Well, once Aerin's home, she's probably not going anywhere before her first appointment with the pediatrician. Everything else is ready; the house is spotless, thanks to Kira and my mom (no thanks to Reggie and Marlowe).

Tomorrow will be the 100th, and hopefully the last, day in a row I've been to the hospital, but there's no comparison to what Kira and Aerin have been through.

Day 69

I can't believe my baby will be home for Thanksgiving. Even 3 weeks ago, I would never have thought she'd be home this soon. She's up to 4.5 pounds.

I have to admit to feeling a bit nervous. I had a long talk with Dr. Rose, who assured me that they would never discharge her if she wasn't ready. Dr. Rose pointed out that Aerin is mature. She can regulate her body temperature and eat - both of which are impossible to do if one's brain is immature. She hasn't had any bradys or apneas in over a month. In fact, she's no longer wearing a pulse ox probe. It makes diaper changes a lot easier.

Andrew and I went shopping with Grandma Rita today and got almost all the things that Aerin will need when she comes home - bassinet, diaper genie, scale, Pack n' Play, etc. I feel much better having all of those things ready to go. It seems so surreal that there's a bassinet next to my bed and a Pack n' Play in my dining room.

I'm rooming in again tomorrow night. They're going to give us the good monitor to start with, so I'm looking forward to a better night. It's hard to sleep when a brain-slicing alarm goes off every 10 minutes for no reason at all. It was both wonderful and scary to be on my own with Aerin. We really bonded during her 11:00 p.m. bottle, when it was just the 2 of us, without the crowd and noise of the PCN.

I'm going to try to get some sleep while I still can.

Day 69: The Hour Draws Near

Aerin has all but worn out her welcome at the hospital. After so many weeks with no end in sight, she's 4.5 lbs. and off the oxygen monitor, with nary a tube or piece of tape on her beautiful face. We're fairly certain she'll be home Tuesday.

Day 68: The Aftermath

Kira did a spectacular job last night rooming in with Aerin, as her craven husband fled to "look after the dogs." The staff was nice enough to find a cozy room just across the hall from the PCN where Kira could have a go at taking care of Aerin all night long. Unfortunately, Aerin's apnea monitor kept losing its signal. Each time, it would sound an alarm shrill enough to rouse dogs sleeping miles away. Eventually, the nurses gave in and swapped the monitor out for a better one. Aerin's Momma will room in at least once more before the discharge.

Aerin was a little tired from the experience as well, but she had a good day otherwise. Grandma Rita is in town again; she got to hold Aerin for the first time. It was a thrill to see that.

Yours truly had a big day as well. Aerin's dad gave her a bottle feeding and diaper change for the first time.

Day 67: Rooming In

There won't be a blog entry tonight because I am rooming in! I will be spending the night in the hospital with Aerin. It will be the first time I've ever been alone with my baby. I want to room in for more than 1 night, which they are very open to.

We're looking at Monday or Tuesday for possible discharge dates. Aerin is getting her Hepatitis B vaccination today, which is something they give to babies shortly before discharge. Two months ago, I would never have thought that my baby would be home by Thanksgiving. I am so very thankful this year!

Day 66

Aerin had a somewhat better day today. We nursed 3 times in a row and she did very well. She did 25 minutes for the first 2 times and 15-20 minutes the last time. She refused a bottle after the first 2 times, but did take 8 cc's after the last. She was a bit fussy during the last session, so I wasn't surprised that she wanted a bit more. She's completely off tube feedings as of today. The next step is to wean her off the blow-by during the feeds. It's also the last step - she goes home after that.

Before we take her home, I'll be rooming in for a couple of days at the hospital. They give us a hospital room and I stay there with Aerin. That way, I do my first solo run with the doctors and nurses around the corner.

I also discovered that Aerin likes to be rocked. We already have a rocking chair, so that's one thing I can cross off my list.

Aerin continues to gain weight, even with all her hard work feeding. She's at 4 pounds, 6.8 ounces!

Day 65

Aerin had a so-so day. Dr. Rose changed her feeding schedule - she now gets 2 out of 3 feeds from a bottle or breast. I'm allowed to nurse her 3 times each day, starting tomorrow. We nursed twice today. The first time, 5:00 p.m., did not go well. Aerin was extremely fussy and only did about 10 minutes (she got 18 cc's through her tube). She was having gas and reflux at the same time, which would make anyone upset. I had asked Dr. Rose if we could try Mylicon for the gas and she had approved it. It arrived from the pharmacy just as Aerin was at her fussiest. Aerin's nurse, Gina, gave her the drops, unhooked her from the monitors, and let me walk around the PCN with her. I don't know if it was the Mylicon or the walking, but Aerin calmed down instantly. It was as if someone had thrown a switch.

The next breastfeeding session was much better. Beth, my lactation consultant (and a NICU nurse), was there and I guess Aerin wanted to put on a good show for her. She fussed a little at first, but then settled down and nursed for 25 minutes. I gave her a bottle afterwards and she didn't drink any of it. That is going to be the new policy - offer a bottle after breastfeeding. Since overfeeding can aggravate reflux, the doctors want to let Aerin decide if she's still hungry after breastfeeding.

We were startled to find out today that we might be able to take Aerin home in less than 2 weeks. She'll probably move to all bottle or breast feeds in the next 4 days and that's her only issue. She might be held back because she sometimes needs oxygen during bottle feeds. It's delivered through "blow-by" - we just hold the oxygen tube near her nose while she eats. It is, as always, up to her. Andrew and I will be taking infant CPR, which I highly recommend for the parents of all babies - preemie or term. We've passed almost everything else on the discharge checklist (diapering, bath, etc.). Aside from CPR, we just have to bring our car seat in for inspection. It is due to arrive on Tuesday, so we'll take care of that.

I'm still reeling from the thought of her coming home so soon. It's something I wouldn't let myself think about for so long and now it's so close.

Day 64: Prematurity Awareness Day

Aerin continues to ace all of her tests. Her retick count is extremely high, which is excellent. It means that she'll pull herself out of the anemia that much faster. Her chest x-ray was completely normal. She passed her hearing test today! It's pretty rare for a preemie to pass on the first test and the technician was very impressed. I'm very relieved - I was in the NICU the last time the technician came to do hearing tests and no one she tested passed (Aerin couldn't be tested then because she was still in the isolette). Any degree of hearing loss can impair a child's ability to speak, so I'm thrilled that Aerin won't have those problems.

I spoke with Dr. Rose today. She hadn't seen Aerin in a couple of weeks and was amazed at how big and healthy she is now. She really has gotten the best possible outcome in every single area.

In other news, my diaper bag arrived today and our stroller shipped. Looking at my diaper bag (Fleurville Mothership - Pink Stripe) helps me to remember that she really will come home soon. Going back and forth to the hospital can get wearying, so it's nice to have concrete reminder that there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't forget to celebrate Prematurity Awareness Day 2005. The March of Dimes has many ways for people to help in the fight against prematurity - from wearing awareness wristbands to writing to Congress.

Day 63

Aerin is 9 weeks old today and weighs 4 pounds, 5.4 ounces. She breastfed for about 25 minutes. They give her 18 cc's through her tube after she nurses, just in case. Her crit is low (32), but she's reticking (creating more red blood cells) well all on her own, so she won't need any more transfusions. It's nice to have those behind us.

Don't forget, November 15th is Prematurity Awareness Day. You can find ways to show your support at the March of Dimes web site.

Day 62

Another milestone today - Aerin is 35 weeks gestational. She weighs four pounds, 3.5 ounces and is 16.0125 inches long. She was extra super adorable today and was in a pretty mellow mood. She's been off the caffeine since Wednesday and we'll know this Wednesday if she'll be able to tolerate being off it (it takes 7 days to get out of your system). The caffeine helped her remember to breathe, so we'll see if she still needs reminding.

She did better at the breast today - 25 minutes. I just love nursing her. She's so peaceful when she's nursing and usually falls asleep. Her warm little body is snuggled up against me and everything is right with the world.

Day 61: 2 Months Old!

Aerin is 2 months old today!

She did better at the breast - she went strong for 20 minutes before she conked out. She's doing well with the bottle feeds, too. She gets 38 cc's now and it shows - she's up to 4 pounds, 2.2 ounces.

Andrew and I bought our travel system today (stroller/car seat/baby carrier combination). I'm so excited for it to arrive, but I'm more excited for the day when we wheel Aerin out of the hospital in it.

Day 60

Today was pretty uneventful. Aerin ate for 10 minutes at the breast, then fell asleep. The nurses say that she's doing great, but I'm frustrated. This is the last step before she can come home and I want her to get there right now. I know I have to be patient, but easier said than done.

We do have some big news - Aerin is 4 pounds (4 pounds, 0.06 ounces, to be exact)!

Day 59

Aerin is 0.3 ounces away from 4 pounds (she's 3 pounds, 15.7 ounces). It seems like she's teasing us. She had a pretty good day, aside from some fussiness due to gas and reflux. She nursed at 2:00 p.m. and went strong for 15 minutes, then fizzled out. She was still hungry and chugged 15 cc's from a bottle. She took all but 2 cc's of her 8:00 p.m. bottle. She's on a 3 bottle, 1 breast, 4 tube schedule - she gets a tube feeding every other feed.

I bought diapers at the Kroger today (Pampers Swaddlers - Newborn Size). I almost cried, I was so happy. I've waited so long to have a baby to buy diapers for and I've waited so long for her to come home.

Day 58

She did it. Aerin nursed successfully and got an entire nutritional feeding. Thank goodness for lactation consultants - Beth helped so much. We tried using a breast shield and that was all it took. She can latch onto the nipple without the shield, but her mouth is so small that it's very hard work for her to elongate the nipple. As Beth put it, there's no such thing as a preemie-sized breast. The breast shield fixes that problem and she ate like a champ for the entire 30 minutes. She seems to like it better than the bottle, although she slept during most of it. Nursing is so much better than pumping - there's really no comparison. She and I are perfectly at peace during and after nursing.

Aerin has entered a phase where she won't go to sleep unless someone is holding her. I think it's adorable and am always happy to oblige her. She's a big girl now - 3 pounds, 14.66 ounces.

Day 57: It Just Keeps Getting Better

The good news keeps coming in floods. Today was a monumental day for our entire family. Aerin came off the cannula! No more supplemental oxygen. It was the first time I've ever seen her without her nasal tube (except for when she was on the vent) and she looks even more beautiful without it. We also got the results of 2 important tests back. Her head ultrasound is completely normal. That's her 3rd normal head ultrasound and Dr. Weisberg told me that we can basically rule out any chance of brain bleeds or damage. She had an eye test and her ROP resolved itself! I have to admit that I was worrying about that one. The only test she has left is her hearing test. I don't know when it will be, but hopefully within the next week or so.

Earlier this evening, Aerin nursed for the very first time. She latched on immediately and managed a few sucks. As her nurse, Nancy, said, this is exceptional for a first attempt. She dry-nursed while they gave her a full tube feed, so that she can connect the breast with filling her tummy. She did a couple of sucks during the feed and a couple right after and it wore her out. I loved it and cannot wait until she's nursing exclusively. Nancy said that she has a really good chance to go home nursing. The lactation consultant, Beth, is going to sit in with us tomorrow. I've worked with Beth to increase my production and she's great. She's also a nurse in the NICU. (Incidentally, today I helped her find nursing pamphlets in Spanish for a patient who speaks no English. I can't believe I remembered enough, but it just came back to me.)

It was a truly precious event for our little family. After making sure Aerin was positioned correctly and her feeding was hooked up, Nancy left Andrew, Aerin, and me alone in the Bonding Room. We've waited so long and it was so natural for us all to be together while I fed the baby. I can't wait till we can be together like that in our home.

Day 56

Aerin just keeps getting better and better. She is up to 36 cc's with her feeds and hasn't desatted in days. She's now allowed to eat as much as she wants with each bottle feed. She took 25 cc's with the morning bottle and all 36 with the evening bottle. Her reflux was better today, too. She's up to 3 pounds, 12.4 ounces.

November 15th is Prematurity Awareness Day.

Day 55: More Changes

I am feeling overwhelmed with all the rapid changes Aerin is going through. It's a good kind of overwhelmed, because all of the changes are good ones. She's down to 0.1 liter of oxygen and tolerating it beautifully. She's still on room air, which is astounding. She's barely needing any supplemental oxygen at all. After watching all those desats, I'm still thrilled to look at her monitor and see her pulse ox in the 90s. She does get turned up for feeds, though, so she won't have to work to breathe and can concentrate all her energy on eating. She's doing wonderfully with her bottles and took all of her yesterday evening one and all but 1 cc of this mornings.

The big news is that she finally moved into a bassinet! They're monitoring her temperature to make sure she can keep herself warm and so far, so good. I can hardly believe that I can stare at her all I want and there isn't a plastic wall between us. We can hold her pretty much whenever we want now and I'm going to build some huge arm muscles because I'm never putting her down.

Day 54: Matriculation

Today Aerin gave us the best anniversary present we ever got - she moved up to the PCN (Progressive Care Nursery). We found out when we went in for her morning bottle (she took half of it and all of her evening bottle) that she was going up today. Even though I knew she was on the list, I was still surprised. She went up at 3:00 p.m.

It's very different up there. Aerin is the only baby in an isolette and the other babies are all so big. There are hardwood floors, which make the unit look less clinical. There are more windows, too. The nurses are as nice and professional as the ones in the NICU. I have yet to meet a nurse who isn't nice and extremely competent at Henrico Doctors'.

Aerin had a great day. She had the excitement of her first elevator ride and is still on room air (21%) at 0.3 liters. She is nearing the 4 pound mark - she's 3 pounds, 11.7 ounces.

Day 53: Big Baby Steps

It's not every day that the NICU doctor gets on the phone with you just to say how happy he is with your baby's progress! Dr. Falterman said that Aerin is now a PCN candidate. It's now just a matter of securing a crib for her up there.

"What's that? a crib?" you ask. Yes, she should come out of the isolette any day now. She's about ready, but she's been weathering so many changes recently that something just has to wait. She's been weaning down to room air on the cannula (most of the time). She's gone up to 32 ccs per feeding, and she now gets two bottles per day (soon to be three). Her feedings have been sped up to 30 minutes; it wasn't too long ago that her feedings lasted 90 minutes.

Finally, she gained weight yet again, tipping the scale this evening at 3 lbs. 10.2 oz.

Day 52: Much Better

What a difference a day makes. Aerin is so much better. Dr. Seguira gave new orders that really helped her. He figured out that she should be getting only half her feed in the bottle. Otherwise, she gets the entire feed over 30 minutes, instead of an hour. That is too fast - it's no wonder she was refluxing more than usual. He also ordered the milk thickener for her tube feeds (she was already getting it in her bottles). She got all the way down to 25% on her oxygen, which is the lowest she's ever gone on the cannula. That is so incredible. Just yesterday she was desatting at 60-70%. She also gained weight again - she's up to 3 pounds, 8.7 ounces.

We went to the parents' meeting this evening. We were the "veterans" there - we had the most premature baby, and she's been in the NICU the longest. The nurse, Tammy, even described us as being "7.5 weeks in." It really helps to talk to people who are going throught the same thing we are. It also helps to have so many people supporting us, online and off. Thanks, everyone.

Day 51

I'm pretty tired, so it's going to be a short update. I gave Aerin a bottle today for the first time. Actually, I gave her 2 bottles. She took all 30 cc's with the morning one and 28 cc's with the evening one. I love feeding her - it's the best bonding we've done. She kept stopping to stare at me during the morning one and it was very adorable. She got the hiccups at one point and looked at me like, "What do I do?"

Her reflux just goes on and on. She desats for a hour after each feeding because of it. It's not a big deal medically, but it's upsetting for me. Since she brings her numbers up herself, the doctors aren't worried. I never anticipated her getting reflux and I really wish it would go away. My schedule is changing a lot, since I want to be the one to feed her and she gets her bottles 8-12 hours apart.

She's back up to 3 pounds, 6.3 ounces.

Day 50

Aerin took 2 entire bottles today! Her first was at 11:00 a.m. and her second was at 11:00 p.m. The morning bottle was 29 cc's and the evening bottle was 30 cc's. It was amazing to watch such a teeny baby eating so much. She's really a natural. The speech therapist is going to teach me how to feed her tomorrow. You have to hold her in a very specific way, so that she is in the optimal position to swallow and breathe. You also have to burp in a specific way - not pat her on the back like you would with a term baby. I'm so happy to finally be able to feed her myself, instead of a pump or a nurse.

The goal is to replace all 8 tube feedings with bottle feedings.

She's at 2 bottle feedings a day and she'll move up to 3 in 2 days. Her tube feedings are only spaced out over an hour now, down from 90 minutes. It hasn't caused her reflux to increase, thank G-d. She has about the same amount of reflux (mild) with the bottle that she does with the tube. The bottle is hard work for her. She is exhausted when she's done and sleeps very deeply. That's great for her - she doesn't usually sleep that deeply. She lost an ounce, which is to be expected after all that hard work. She's 3 pounds, 5 ounces.

She still had her bath today and she did fine. I did most of it myself, with the nurse and Andrew looking on. Afterwards, I held her upright to help with her reflux. She looks extra adorable when she's all clean and dressed in fresh clothes and swaddled up in a soft blankie.